When I started research for this article, I was overwhelmed by the volume of literature on depression and the elderly. There are many statistics gathered on this subject by elite organizations, such as The National Institutes of Health and The American Medical Association. Numerous well-researched studies conclude that depression is almost epidemic in our American senior population.
Common sense will point to many of the causes: living alone, a diminishing circle of friends, the loss of identity after retirement, loss of driving privileges, cognitive decline, growing loss of health, reduced mobility, medications and most importantly the loss of a spouse or partner.
These events are common and even expected as life progresses. Nonetheless, as these end-of-life issues begin to emerge seniors often feel isolated, lonely and under-valued. Some even begin to experience the loss of pleasure and lack of interest in personal care.
Our ideas for helping a senior feel valued during some of life’s difficult transitions are not meant to be a substitute for professional intervention. These are meant to be gestures of caring that bring a feeling of value to another person. There is no substitute for the feeling of being valued. It is the feeling that you matter in someone’s life no matter what your social status or physical condition is.
Ways to show you care:
- Be enthusiastic and upbeat in your greeting and use positive language. It sets the tone and enlivens the encounter.
- Drop a positive little note from time to time. Keep a stack of greeting cards from the dollar store handy and mail one off every couple of weeks. Enclose a little something: a coupon, a newspaper clipping, a bookmark, a photo.
- Telephone them with a joke. You know what they say about laughter.
- Have something delivered to them. It doesn’t have to be expensive. You can purchase something yourself and have a friend deliver it. A happy surprise can change the day.
- Drop by with milk and cookies.
- Remember the power of touch. Use both hands when shaking hands. Give firm hugs and a warm kiss on the cheek.
- Send a postcard if you’re traveling.
- Take a meal over one evening.
- Nearly everyone loves to hold a baby or a small child. If there is one or two in your life, share. And don’t forget that pets are great company too.
- Buy an inexpensive tape recorder and encourage them to share their life stories.
- Leave a surprise at the door: a flower pot, a balloon with a handwritten message, a little bag of treats.
- Encourage your senior to get out in the world a little bit. It is physically and mentally refreshing. Can you take a short walk or run a simple errand with her? If you can’t, is there someone who can?
These gestures are easy to do and can mean so much to the recipient.
In the end, I hope it will put value in your own life as well.