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Assisted Living: Is Your Loved One Ready?
How do you know if your elderly parent is ready for assisted living? It might not always be easy to make that determination. However, by considering varying factors, you can confirm whether your mom or dad needs long-term care or just some help around the house. The following information can help you make the right decision.
Watch and Learn
If you’re caring for an older adult, there are many things to look for that might flag you to a potential problem. If they’re not eating properly, for example, or if the fridge is bare, they won’t have the energy to do things like socialize, maintain their home or exercise.
Hygiene is something else to pay close attention to. This can get uncomfortable, so it might be best to observe instead of overtly asking. Look at what they're wearing. If they still have on the same clothes they did days before, or if you notice a distinguishable body odor, they may not be able to take care of themselves the way they should.
Spend an afternoon with your loved one, and perhaps ask them to cook you a meal. This way, you can watch to see how they handle food preparation, appliances and kitchen safety. If they forget to turn off the oven or stove or if they misuse ingredients, this could be a sign that they're suffering from dementia or memory loss.
Talk About It
Once you're sure there is a problem, it’s time to have a conversation with your parent. Be mindful of your tone. You don't want to come across as bossy or demanding, and try to avoid phrases that might make your mom or dad feel like you're scolding them as if they're a child.
During the early stages of the conversation, mention the benefits of assisted living. A few of the perks are having freshly cooked, healthy meals, housekeeping services, social activities and regularly scheduled outings. You might ask if they're feeling lonely, and then point out that moving into an assisted living facility would give them access to a brand new social network.
It might take time to win them over, so be patient but persistent. More than anything, approach them with love.
Making Preparations
If your mom or dad agrees that it’s time to transition to assisted living, there may be weeks or months worth of preparation. First, tour a few facilities in the area together. Let them get a feel for what’s available. You’ll also need to help them downsize their possessions.
Because the cost of independent and assisted living can vary, touring several locations can help you finalize their budget. This is especially important to consider since Medicare doesn’t usually provide coverage for assisted living. You may need to get creative when it comes to paying for your parent’s care, so consider long-term care insurance, government programs or paying out of pocket.
Ultimately, you want your parent to decide if assisted living is right for them. But again, it’s going to take time, and you may have to talk about it on more than one occasion.
If you're looking for more information on the concerns of living alone as a senior, what types of options are available and how to talk to your parents more about the transition, the resources below can guide you in the right direction.
- Alzheimer’s Association: What Is Dementia?
- American Psychological Association: The Risk of Social Isolation
- How to Talk to Your Parents About Assisted Living
- 10 Shocking Statistics About Elderly Falls
For additional resources on assisted living, check out the Ask the Expert section to access exclusive Q&As with industry leaders, like: